Welcome to Traces Space. So, when did YOU lose your churchiness? I know, dear Lord where is she going with this one? But seriously, is who we are, who we where then, when we chose to become followers of Jesus?
I was thinking about churchy people this morning, and yes I was being a little judgmental, but hey, it is what it is. I was thinking about a time when it was all about thinking I need to maintain a certain persona in order to fit in or even just belong, to be able to walk along my fellow believers. Yes the judgemental attitude, totally towards myself.
Years ago when I was a very young church goer, I believed in order to serve I had to involve myself in every activity that happened in the church. Now volunteering and serving are essential in your journey, but the guilt I felt when I wasn't able to attend or wasn't invited to attend became overwhelming, so then I became a slacker.
See everything we do should be done with a servants attitude, and I mean everything. It's hard in our church life, but in our world life to maintain a servants heart, and why? Because of our churchiness and well to be honest, the churchiness of others, or lack there of or too much.
So when did I lose mine? When I began to focus on the shortcomings of others and blaming them for my church issues, these issues are mine (last blog). But I was seeing person after person either walk away from serving, or running like a wild man. I was seeing the attitude like church, and creating my own attitude. Serving was becoming a chore, and serving should be a joy. The calling on my life was engaged in battle, and the only way to win, own it and repent.
Week after week I was grumbling more and more, not only over church stuff, but life in general stuff. Nothing was making me happy. The things I loved most or felt drawn to, were causing my heart to ache. I kept saying over and over, God is faithful and His Joy is my strength.
My journey was no longer on a smooth highway, but on a pothole inbeaded dirt path. God help me!
So then as usual, He began to.
Is it fixed? No, but it's in process.
This is what as I write this He is showing me. He does not want us to be churchy! He wants us to walk in fullness of Him. He wants us to find our place and claim it. He wants us to be completely whole, not to be full of holes, being holy is not taking on the appearance of a donut. His desire is that when we drench ourselves in His goodness and serve out our calling, that we accept that gift was created by Him and given to us from Him.
We are not capable and we're not designed by Him to be perfect, and it is not our job to identify or call out anyone else's churchiness! Read that twice! He will in His time take care of it!
With that said...Lord I bring my churchiness self righteousness attitude before You today! I am sorry for the attitudes that I have had towards others and well towards you. Lord forgive my grumbling heart, my heart full of jealousy and my heart that has desired to be anything different than who You have called me to be! Take me back to my willingness to serve You and to do it with Joy, and Lord for those who are right here with me... show them too! I love You Lord and am nothing without You, Amen!
Keep the faith and rediscover your joy!
See you next time.
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