The Bird Is Not The Word

Welcome to Traces Space...
So since the beginning of the New Year I have been trying very hard to immerse myself in the Word.  I have a really difficult time focusing and am very easily distracted, so I decided the best plan for me was to do weekly devotionals, no pressure...Well at least I thought the pressure would be off.
Every study over the past couple of weeks has lead to some new challenge in my rather interesting walk.  One in particular though struck a cord, "One Word That Will Change Your Life".  Yes one word...this study which was only five days encourages you to seek God and find one word that you can focus on for the entire year that will change you.
So needless to say I became a woman of few words when meditating on what it might be that God was trying to tell me, then like a slap in the face it came to me, the word, and the word was "response".
In every area of my life this is the one thing that I really struggle with.  I struggle with body language, facial expressions, words...all of it.  I wear my emotions on my sleeve, good or bad.  There really is never a mystery on how I am feeling and some times transparency is not a good thing.
Now I don't believe you should lie about how you feel, but also there are times you need to harness your feelings and well process them before you react, especially if you have grown weary, or frustrated in the said situation.
I could write a novel these days on the things that irritate my soul, but I am sure if you are reading this you already know, so that would be senseless.  It seems as if I have come to this place where I feel that everyone needs to know of my dissatisfaction with life and family and God and well... you get the idea.  The grating on my every emotion is becoming exhausting.
So here we go, response.
So I believe that God wants to take care of it.
So what is the plan?  First of all I need to accept that this is the word for me.  That I do because it is causing me great stress, I recognize this monster for what it is.  I also have to accept that there is a whole lot of ugliness in me that is going to be revealed, and also that I am going to have to be able to just let a whole lot of stuff go.  I have to learn to also accept that I am not responsible for the actions of others and in reality I can't control those actions and well folks really don't want me to.  I will also have to learn that when people are joking about life here at my house that I can't change who I live with and or what they do, its not my job...well in a whole lot of areas its not my job.
I can't fix nobody but MYSELF.
I have to leave the past in the past, and pray a whole lot that the future is going to get better.  I can not allow the things that have already happened define the "response" to the things yet to be.
And finally I have to let go and really let God.  For the first time I have to fully surrender to Him because this isn't going to be easy, this is a change of my entire being.
I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength!
So I challenge you...explore your spirit and soul and search and seek your "word".  I honestly believe it could be life changing.
See you soon!