Welcome to Trace's Space! Who do they see?
These past few weeks I have been in a struggle, which I am sure those who know me, are very aware of. I look at myself, I am very dissatisfied with my appearance, I have gained about twenty five pounds since last summer. I feel ineffective in the things that I do, and feel my words, as the leave my mouth, grate the very ears that hear them, and they grate the very depths of my being. I do not like who I am in this season, or should I say who I see.
I am so discouraged in the events of the day. Not just the world things, but the outcomes of things that I have found myself in the middle of. Knowing that my words could not keep disappointment away, and certainly they could not prevent the is what it is outcome. Would I say I am in a season of dissatisfaction? well a little. See my persona is that of a fixer!
Why does it matter?
Simply, it matters because we are responsible for our words and our actions, ownership is part of who we are as humans. I see this as what is wrong with the world today. In a trophy give away world, where every one wins, the thing that is lacking is ownership!
We grumble, we complain, folks get really tired of it, but we can't help it. We do nothing to inspire change, and we model nothing that encourages positivity. Oh boy! That's rough! We model nothing that encourages positivity!
We are glued to the television, we are glued to our electronic hand held devices waiting on world events that are horrendous, waiting for our leaders to fall, finding ourselves thinking that somehow rejoicing in failure will make us feel better about who we are.
We are guilty!
But for the love of the Almighty, how do we change?
Change begins with me, as it does with you. We have to learn somehow to find peace in chaos. We have to find the place or at the very least an understanding of how God desires we model who He is in this tough season.
I haven't been very good at seeing it lately, because I have only been seeing myself! How about you? Who do you see?
The Bible warns us of self love and self pleasure, and there are tons of folks in the Word who have been right where we are, or soon, where we have been. From the beginning folks always had the if it feels good do it, don't wait on God attitude. I really believe that's why we are drawn to folks like, Abraham, Sarah, David, and the big 12. There is a little of us in each of them. Think about this, the hope is, as messed up as some of these folks were, God still used them for His Glory!
I am hoping this season ends quickly, or I get prayed out of it. That I get the lesson, apply it, then get back to myself.
So why am I sharing this? Because I feel lead to, also because I know that I know that maybe some of you are right here in this season with me, or so that you may be lead to pray.
Lord, I come before you broken and feeling tough, not digging who I am. My desire is to serve you, to honor you, to worship you. Lord, I pray for those who are right here with me, I pray that you heal our hearts and our minds and that you continue to extend that hand of grace that only comes from you. This I pray, Amen.
Who do they see?
See you next time.
Monday, June 19, 2017
Thursday, June 8, 2017
Jeannie in a Bottle
Welcome to Traces Space. I was just sitting here enjoying a cup of coffee, reading the news of the day, and then some. I then started to become flooded with thoughts, thoughts of how good and well meaning folks are, and well, how cruel and insincere they are as well.
Oh, it's going to get deep here!
Like many of you, if we are honest, I have often felt like the last kid picked for a game in gym class, wait! I was! Anyway, I have always felt as if I wasn't good enough, pretty enough, the right size, and most of all eloquent in the delivery of information, or just being able to engage in conversation.
Trying very hard can cause a person to lose their joy very quickly because even though you have done your very best, you have lost what you were doing just by over doing the process. Being a people pleaser ain't easy, and it's not pleasing. Does that make sense. In other words, folks just want you to get it done, they really could care less about the process... Harsh reality, but that is our world today.
We are the people labeling / pleasing generation. Example, you know her, she's the one who has crazy eyes, they roll just because! Seriously, the girl with blonde hair who tells lame jokes, or the fat worship leader! Isn't she lovely, look at her new shoes!
Now stick with me here, all this negativity is going to take a turn soon!
Years ago I knew someone who I shall call sickening fake niceness. On the outside they appeared to have it all together, they were a walking talking Jeannie in a bottle equipped with a full bottle of fake happy pills! Everyone loved this person, when they walked into a room people were magnetically pulled into their atmosphere. The outside was attractive in appearance, and the speech was beautiful and uplifting. Everything this person touched was perfect. People who knew of this person always had a kind word. But then there were those of us who really knew!
See this person had stuff, you know life stuff like the rest of us. In order to feel good about what was left of the mess they were living was nothing more than a facade. They did everything humanly possible to look good. They hid in their appearance, and hid behind their words. So hungry for love and acceptance, the lie became more important than what truth could really give them. What they wanted folks to see wasn't ever really good enough, it always had to be bigger and better. Then they hit the wall. The wall of truth!
See you can only live this way for so long. Just like onions, the surface gets torn off, then the peeling process begins. As the truth eventually came out, as it always does, lie after lie was exposed, and the one thing this person feared more than the truth became the result of all of this, pity.
Was there joy for me in any of this, I mean they got what was coming to them, but no. It was awful!
God doesn't want us to feel like we aren't good enough. He doesn't want us to have to fake anything, and He certainly isn't a Jeannie in a bottle.
There is nothing wrong with wanting to give pleasure to folks or make them happy, but when that need consumes you or steals your joy it is nothing more than a device of the enemy.
There is a whole lot of people, myself included who feel not good enough, but there is a time to get over it and know that God chose you to fulfill a purpose and what it is you do or say can and does honor Him and that is what matters.
We are called to serve others and honor Him, each with a gift from Him for His purpose, not ours, His... that's where the Joy of the Lord is our strength fits in, because without Him we are minus Joy! Self don't fit!
In the end your legacy isn't going to be how well you performed, or how good you looked, but the Truth you lived.
See you next time.
Oh, it's going to get deep here!
Like many of you, if we are honest, I have often felt like the last kid picked for a game in gym class, wait! I was! Anyway, I have always felt as if I wasn't good enough, pretty enough, the right size, and most of all eloquent in the delivery of information, or just being able to engage in conversation.
Trying very hard can cause a person to lose their joy very quickly because even though you have done your very best, you have lost what you were doing just by over doing the process. Being a people pleaser ain't easy, and it's not pleasing. Does that make sense. In other words, folks just want you to get it done, they really could care less about the process... Harsh reality, but that is our world today.
We are the people labeling / pleasing generation. Example, you know her, she's the one who has crazy eyes, they roll just because! Seriously, the girl with blonde hair who tells lame jokes, or the fat worship leader! Isn't she lovely, look at her new shoes!
Now stick with me here, all this negativity is going to take a turn soon!
Years ago I knew someone who I shall call sickening fake niceness. On the outside they appeared to have it all together, they were a walking talking Jeannie in a bottle equipped with a full bottle of fake happy pills! Everyone loved this person, when they walked into a room people were magnetically pulled into their atmosphere. The outside was attractive in appearance, and the speech was beautiful and uplifting. Everything this person touched was perfect. People who knew of this person always had a kind word. But then there were those of us who really knew!
See this person had stuff, you know life stuff like the rest of us. In order to feel good about what was left of the mess they were living was nothing more than a facade. They did everything humanly possible to look good. They hid in their appearance, and hid behind their words. So hungry for love and acceptance, the lie became more important than what truth could really give them. What they wanted folks to see wasn't ever really good enough, it always had to be bigger and better. Then they hit the wall. The wall of truth!
See you can only live this way for so long. Just like onions, the surface gets torn off, then the peeling process begins. As the truth eventually came out, as it always does, lie after lie was exposed, and the one thing this person feared more than the truth became the result of all of this, pity.
Was there joy for me in any of this, I mean they got what was coming to them, but no. It was awful!
God doesn't want us to feel like we aren't good enough. He doesn't want us to have to fake anything, and He certainly isn't a Jeannie in a bottle.
There is nothing wrong with wanting to give pleasure to folks or make them happy, but when that need consumes you or steals your joy it is nothing more than a device of the enemy.
There is a whole lot of people, myself included who feel not good enough, but there is a time to get over it and know that God chose you to fulfill a purpose and what it is you do or say can and does honor Him and that is what matters.
We are called to serve others and honor Him, each with a gift from Him for His purpose, not ours, His... that's where the Joy of the Lord is our strength fits in, because without Him we are minus Joy! Self don't fit!
In the end your legacy isn't going to be how well you performed, or how good you looked, but the Truth you lived.
See you next time.
Sunday, June 4, 2017
Sunday Tidbits Revelation
Welcome to Traces Space. So just for the record I do listen to our pastor when he speaks. With that said, my mind occasionally wonders, and for the past couple of weeks I have honestly struggled, not that I wasn't interested, but I think I have been on a journey to this little tidbit of Sunday revelation.
I am not a great believer in information gathered on social media, and believe me, I believe social media has a tendency to play the mind control game, so places that I go to for reliable information are few and far between, but occasionally I will come across something that sparks my interest, and today was one of those days, it all had to do with an article on the Quran.
In this said article it talked about things that as a Christian we may not know about Islam. I'm not going to go there, because my recollection would not be accurate, but I found it interesting. What I want to talk about is the comments. People who I believe never read a word of it spewed their hatred, while others attacked those who were sympathetic to those of us who chose to just be informed.
Am I advocating reading the Quran? Not really, but in order to enter into grown up conversation regarding differences in our belief systems, I would say, learn! I believe Jesus was very much educated on the folks of His day.
So where does church fall into this, and my rabbit trail?
I couldn't let the comments from the article leave my mind, I kept thinking about it. So during the sermon, Abraham was mentioned, now was it in the context that I am about to share, no... but this is where after four weeks of struggling God had me go.
I was sitting there, the wheels spinning, and finally I say, God what am I suppose to get here? Yes, what are you speaking to me...What do I need to see?
So here is what I got.
When something is birthed from the results of disobedience there must be a consequence, and that thing that has been birthed and comes from your Egypt is nothing more than a spoiled child and full of self entitlement. (Ouch)
So then He speaks this, the Prodigal son. See the story is about forgiveness, but God wants me to look at the older brother. See that brother is put out because younger spoiled brother wastes his inheritance, this younger brother shames his family by being a party animal and losing it all and the older brother stays home and engages in a faithful relationship with his father.
He honestly believes because of his faithfulness he is entitled to all that is left. So younger brother mans up and heads home. The father sees him coming and runs to him arms wide open... he then throws a giant party, and older brother pouts. There is so much more in this story, but the focus here for me was this the older sibling.
We spend an awful lot of time thinking about what we have, what we don't, and sometimes resentful of what others have, not just the things we can see, but also the unseen, and I believe what God was speaking here was how we see or place value on our relationship with Him, and how we feel because we touch the porch steps to the church most Sundays, we are entitled to the relationship, just because.
We are jealous of others their giftings , but what's really sad, we are jealous of other peoples journey, whether they are just getting started or a seasoned saint.
That older son is us sometimes.
There is such beauty in this story that we miss, and I believe that there is a great parallel between the Prodigals older brother and Ishmael. They both resented the second born, and we folks are they!
We are owed nothing, but the ultimate price has been paid. God wants us to see ourselves as the lost child who has relinquished entitlement and replaced it with second birth because of the cross. An act of total obedience has granted each and everyone of us an eternal inheritance.
We come before God filthy and hungry with nothing, yet He runs to us, arms wide open.
Lord, I thank You for Your word. I thank You for showing and revealing who it is you desire we be. Thank You for being part of my journey and showing me the way, even if it is a rabbit trail! Amen!
See you next time.
I am not a great believer in information gathered on social media, and believe me, I believe social media has a tendency to play the mind control game, so places that I go to for reliable information are few and far between, but occasionally I will come across something that sparks my interest, and today was one of those days, it all had to do with an article on the Quran.
In this said article it talked about things that as a Christian we may not know about Islam. I'm not going to go there, because my recollection would not be accurate, but I found it interesting. What I want to talk about is the comments. People who I believe never read a word of it spewed their hatred, while others attacked those who were sympathetic to those of us who chose to just be informed.
Am I advocating reading the Quran? Not really, but in order to enter into grown up conversation regarding differences in our belief systems, I would say, learn! I believe Jesus was very much educated on the folks of His day.
So where does church fall into this, and my rabbit trail?
I couldn't let the comments from the article leave my mind, I kept thinking about it. So during the sermon, Abraham was mentioned, now was it in the context that I am about to share, no... but this is where after four weeks of struggling God had me go.
I was sitting there, the wheels spinning, and finally I say, God what am I suppose to get here? Yes, what are you speaking to me...What do I need to see?
So here is what I got.
When something is birthed from the results of disobedience there must be a consequence, and that thing that has been birthed and comes from your Egypt is nothing more than a spoiled child and full of self entitlement. (Ouch)
So then He speaks this, the Prodigal son. See the story is about forgiveness, but God wants me to look at the older brother. See that brother is put out because younger spoiled brother wastes his inheritance, this younger brother shames his family by being a party animal and losing it all and the older brother stays home and engages in a faithful relationship with his father.
He honestly believes because of his faithfulness he is entitled to all that is left. So younger brother mans up and heads home. The father sees him coming and runs to him arms wide open... he then throws a giant party, and older brother pouts. There is so much more in this story, but the focus here for me was this the older sibling.
We spend an awful lot of time thinking about what we have, what we don't, and sometimes resentful of what others have, not just the things we can see, but also the unseen, and I believe what God was speaking here was how we see or place value on our relationship with Him, and how we feel because we touch the porch steps to the church most Sundays, we are entitled to the relationship, just because.
We are jealous of others their giftings , but what's really sad, we are jealous of other peoples journey, whether they are just getting started or a seasoned saint.
That older son is us sometimes.
There is such beauty in this story that we miss, and I believe that there is a great parallel between the Prodigals older brother and Ishmael. They both resented the second born, and we folks are they!
We are owed nothing, but the ultimate price has been paid. God wants us to see ourselves as the lost child who has relinquished entitlement and replaced it with second birth because of the cross. An act of total obedience has granted each and everyone of us an eternal inheritance.
We come before God filthy and hungry with nothing, yet He runs to us, arms wide open.
Lord, I thank You for Your word. I thank You for showing and revealing who it is you desire we be. Thank You for being part of my journey and showing me the way, even if it is a rabbit trail! Amen!
See you next time.
THE GREAT DEFENDER
Welcome to Traces Space. To what extreme are you willing to go to defend that which you believe in, or at the very least the ones or One that you love?
In life I have found that I have somehow managed to surround myself with folks who were kind of always willing to step up and defend that which needed to be fought for without much of my input, until lately.
Funny how life is.
I don't mean that in a sarcastic kind of way, but funny how we somehow end up in situations that test our ability to be clear and honest, yet firm and strong.
Believe it or not, conflict makes me extremely uncomfortable. The thought of being involved in a confrontation of any sort makes me physically ill, even if I am on the right side of the conflict, even if I know that trust is my issue, and believing victory is on the way.
I am a firm believer in the God don't like ugly mentality. He wants victory for us, but we have responsibility in the battle. When we are about to face our opponent, whether it be a mouse or a giant, we have to be prepared for poison darts, and we have to be prepared with the ability to maintain the ability to show Gods characteristics. How easy is it for us to lose our stuff and respond without thought?
In the past two years when seeking God on what the word for my life for the year should be, my spirit has been quickened to the word, response. I really struggle with this because it is very easy to read me, the eyes usually give it away. While this character flaw of mine has been the butt of many jokes, it has also been the thorn in almost every confrontation I have ever had. If I do not simply roll the eyes, then the ugly sarcastic side comes out, no filter! Not a good thing. The Bible warns us about the danger associated with the tongue and the inability to control it.
So when you are defending yourself or others, controlling the passionate need to defend can lose the battle for you before you ever start the actual fight. Slinging words, not choosing them wisely will eventually cause the inevitable crow eating to become a true reality. Not that your fight isn't valid, or worthy, it becomes tainted with attitude and selfishness.
In no way am I saying to give up and not fight, quite the contrary.
First of all take all your battles to God, He has given us what we need in His word, all the fighting words we will ever need and then some. Learn to walk away, think, pray, then respond. Realize that not all battles are yours to fight, even if you feel you are all alone.
Yes God don't like ugly! Most of the time the ugly is more so in us than our foe. The good news is this, God still loves us though, even we are ugly!
So, what extreme are you willing to go? How far or how hard are you willing to fight?
As for me, I'm sure to the end of the battle, and hopefully my responses will no longer be so abrupt. Because as I grow in this I am learning to TRUST and to know that the battle is not mine, but it is the Lords!
See you next time!
In life I have found that I have somehow managed to surround myself with folks who were kind of always willing to step up and defend that which needed to be fought for without much of my input, until lately.
Funny how life is.
I don't mean that in a sarcastic kind of way, but funny how we somehow end up in situations that test our ability to be clear and honest, yet firm and strong.
Believe it or not, conflict makes me extremely uncomfortable. The thought of being involved in a confrontation of any sort makes me physically ill, even if I am on the right side of the conflict, even if I know that trust is my issue, and believing victory is on the way.
I am a firm believer in the God don't like ugly mentality. He wants victory for us, but we have responsibility in the battle. When we are about to face our opponent, whether it be a mouse or a giant, we have to be prepared for poison darts, and we have to be prepared with the ability to maintain the ability to show Gods characteristics. How easy is it for us to lose our stuff and respond without thought?
In the past two years when seeking God on what the word for my life for the year should be, my spirit has been quickened to the word, response. I really struggle with this because it is very easy to read me, the eyes usually give it away. While this character flaw of mine has been the butt of many jokes, it has also been the thorn in almost every confrontation I have ever had. If I do not simply roll the eyes, then the ugly sarcastic side comes out, no filter! Not a good thing. The Bible warns us about the danger associated with the tongue and the inability to control it.
So when you are defending yourself or others, controlling the passionate need to defend can lose the battle for you before you ever start the actual fight. Slinging words, not choosing them wisely will eventually cause the inevitable crow eating to become a true reality. Not that your fight isn't valid, or worthy, it becomes tainted with attitude and selfishness.
In no way am I saying to give up and not fight, quite the contrary.
First of all take all your battles to God, He has given us what we need in His word, all the fighting words we will ever need and then some. Learn to walk away, think, pray, then respond. Realize that not all battles are yours to fight, even if you feel you are all alone.
Yes God don't like ugly! Most of the time the ugly is more so in us than our foe. The good news is this, God still loves us though, even we are ugly!
So, what extreme are you willing to go? How far or how hard are you willing to fight?
As for me, I'm sure to the end of the battle, and hopefully my responses will no longer be so abrupt. Because as I grow in this I am learning to TRUST and to know that the battle is not mine, but it is the Lords!
See you next time!
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