Sunday, March 25, 2018

They Couldn’t Buy A Clue, So He Paid!

Welcome To Trace’s Space.  Hosanna! Glory to the Highest ! Words that came from the mouths of the clueless as Jesus entered Jerusalem. I know that sounds harsh, but it was the reality of the moment, these same folks who were praising the King they had long awaited for, would be the same folks six days later selling him off to die so that a murderer could be free.
They did not know.  As Jesus was being crucified, He asked the Father to forgive them, for they knew not what they were doing.  For three years He had been walking amongst them being about the Fathers business, healing, preaching, raising folks from the dead, but somehow the witnesses to the Man, their Messiah, had been swayed by public opinion and fear of the government,  and they managed to go into complete denial of who He was/is.
Even the twelve, His friends were quick to deny Him.  One even sold His whereabouts for a few coins.  Tough times in the Holy Land.
Tough times in our land, America.  The simulairites to that time and ours is so amazing.  Our country is in turmoil, everybody looking for an answer, everybody blaming everyone else, everybody selling off one another in order to gain something, the only difference is, we aren’t selling off our Messiah, or are we?
We have lost a concept or two, or three, or many.  Someone asked today, what if none of us are right? The question really had little to do with faith, but depending on where you stand, it could have everything to do with faith.  See we all have our opinions on what is wrong or right with the world today.  We have this influx of information and that information can lead us in many directions, the problem is, how much if it is truth? How much is biased, how much is based on actual facts, how much of it is what we think we hear, or what we want to hear?  How confusing is it all?  We all process information differently, then we form our opinion.
From gun control to gender, from politics to religion, we all have a thought or two.  Who is right? We can’t even respect anyone’s opinion, or at the very least, let them complete a sentence.  It seems like the right for public opinion has been outlawed unless it’s popular.  But who decides that?  WHO IS RIGHT?
We are clueless.
See history repeats itself, we are human and we tend to forget, tend to not care unless it directly effects us.  See there is a pattern here.  A repeat.  The crowd was somehow convinced that they wanted Barrabas.  Even though Jesus too was standing there, they forgot or never really knew their Messiah, their salvation, that was about to be sent to die by those He came to save.
They were clueless.  Swayed by public opinion, or fear.
The good news is though, even though we don’t get it, there is hope! Even though we can’t buy a clue, someone has already paid full price for our inability to catch on to that which is right.  Our human nature will some day leave this world and our spirit will dwell where earthly matters won’t be so important.
We need to put the petty aside, live for Jesus.
Who’s right? I don’t know.  But what I do know is, I have decided to follow His lead, and pray for forgiveness, because I need to daily.  I need to pray for those who I disagree with and pray that God help me understand and vice versa. What are the answers? God only knows!
Amen? Absolutely!
See you next time.


Sunday, March 18, 2018

This Is My Story, This Is My Song!

Welcome to Trace’s Space.  My grandson and I were hanging out yesterday, and he said something and I immediately broke out into song.  He says, “ Mamaw why you singing.”  And I said, “ Jase I could probably come up with a song about anything!”  I believe at first he was amazed by my skill, then he became annoyed and asked me to stop.
But it is true, no matter the subject matter, I can come up with something, because music for me has always been my happy place.  As a child I remember the neighbor guy yelling for me to shut up because I was hanging upside down on the swingset singing opera.  I would sing songs I knew, that I made up.  I absorbed songs and they became part of me, if that makes sense.  For every life event there is some song attached to it...Music is the clearest attribute connected to my soul.
There are times when I am troubled, the safest place I can be, is sitting on my bed, iPad in hand earphones in place, and music blaring.  There are also times that in that escape I find myself dancing like no one is watching, or drowning in tears.  There is freedom there for me.  I can leave my space, and just drift away completely into what I am listening to.
No Segway! Here we go!
So, I wanted to be a star! This is actually pretty funny.  I was about thirteen years old and Jamboree USA was having a star search.  I wanted to to this thing, you know, to compete to sing so badly, that I could taste it.  Since it was country music I decided that I would learn a little ditty called. “ Heavens Just A Sin Away,” by the Kendall’s.  This was my song selection and ticket to stardom.  Remember I was thirteen.  So I get dressed up in my light blue pantsuit, with light blue ruffled blouse, adorned with really big bow, and along with my parents and little brother, off to Wheeling we went. We sat in on the show that evening, then proceeded to take my walk up the stairway to stardom.  Lots of famous folks had climbed those stairs, every step had someones star studded name on it.  It was dark and smokie, and scary.  So we get to the top of the stairs, I turn to my dad and say, “I can’t do it!”  I believe Dad breathed a sigh of relief, and gave a smile, and home we went.
I always chuckle about my road to fame, well, my pothole filled road to fame.  Did that experience make my dream go away, no, but it changed how I viewed how I was going to do what I loved just because I love it.  Or how God was going to bless me, with serving Him, by giving me the desire of my heart.
I love to praise and worship.  I know it’s the call I have on my life, and I feel honored every time I stand in the Presence of God and His folks, and help them to engage in Worship.  It is the most freeing place I know.  To me it is the ultimate chain breaker, healing, safest place I know. When I speak on Worship music time, it’s like I am talking about one of my children.  It is more than a song, it’s a way of life.  Well for me anyway...
This is my story, this is my song, is a line from the Hymn, “Blessed Assurance”.  We sang that today during worship, and as we sang it was so clear to me, the message of the of the chorus, this is MY story, this is MY song.  That moment in time, that lyric inspired by someone else’s journey, defined mine.  We all have a hymn, a spiritual song, not always attached to musical notes, but totally adorned with melody.  Whether it be major keys full of fun and simplicities, or minor keys full of depth or desperation, our lives, our journey flows like a song.
I totally thanked God for my journey today, for my song.  Because no matter how tough the piece, my song has been beautiful, and will continue to be so.
So today I pray that you too find your hymn, your song, that you find peace in your journey, you find a place of comfort, and when you are at your lowest, just sing! Help us to remember that our journey is so, so long, with out you Lord!Amen.

“This my story, this is my song, Praising my Savior all the day long, this is my story this is my song, Praising my savior, All the day long!”
-Blessed Assurance
Phoebe Palmer Knapp

See you next time!



Saturday, March 17, 2018

Warped Theology

Welcome to Trace’s Space.  What do you believe?  What do you define as truth? When we look at religion, or journies of faith, or simply our relationships with God, how sure are we that what we know is truth or warped theology?
I have been thinking about my own faith journey a lot lately, where I have been, and where I am, and whether or not you realize it or not, each one of us have a path and it’s all different.  We all have different relationships and styles of communicating with God, if we even communicate or acknowledge Him as our Savior at all.
When do we pray, how do we pray, do  you wither or thou, or do you just say hey God?  What version of the Bible is most accurate, do we invest in a commentary so we can gain understanding, do we google bible facts, or do we just dive into the Bible and pray for understanding?
I find myself struggling sometimes because I am  part of a generation that has been encouraged to seek knowledge in order to find or have truth revealed to me, then I find I am up against the newest generation of non-thinkers and data driven folks that think things are simply as they are based on literal information and surface facts. They do not dig deep into anything, and they certainly don’t ask for information, or if they do, they act like they hear you, but at the end of the conversation they will do what they are going to do anyway! The struggle is real!
I feel like the village idiot!  Experience speaks nothing to these folks. They need instant facts in order to obtain instant gratification.  I am a firm believer in the “on time God”.  What do I mean by that, I believe that His timing is perfect, we may want Him to respond instantly, or to simply just get it instantly, but it’s not always the case.
There is not a whole lot that is logical in the worldly perspective about God.  As a deep thinker, don’t laugh too hard there, but as a deep thinker logic messes with faith in big ways.  But as I have grown and gotten more familiar with the TRUE character of God, logic basically changes it’s appearance and manifests itself into a Faith full of Hope.
I have never seen a instant miracle of healing, the blind to see or deaf to hear, or lame to walk, but I know with every ounce of my being that God does heal folks.  I know that God has used doctors and given them wisdom in order to assist in healing.  I have a very good friend who is an example of  God putting the right Doctor in her path, she would not be here today if not for this Doctor and his wisdom.  To add to this, the Doctor, a man of great faith!
In an earlier blog I talked about getting understanding and never knowing why, again I believe there are some mysteries that will never be answered in this life.  I do not know why children are abused or starve, why some live, some don’t, but what I do know is God offers hope.  That’s a hard pill to swallow if you are ill, or have lost someone close to you, but in those desperate seasons, sometimes God is all you have to hang onto, and there is great comfort in that.  Sometimes He is the only one you can cry out to, scream at, be angry with ( I know you shouldn’t but if we are honest, He knows we are angry, so don’t be hiding behind a bush like Adam, He knows our heart), talk to Him.
Guard your heart and be careful who you listen to.  There are many voices out there, some even with good intentions.  Job had good friends, they listened then gave him crappy advice.  He knew God, and even though he had lost everything, he knew God would come through.  He lost his children his wife, his wealth, yet he still sought  and trusted God.  But on the flip side of that God allowed this mess with Job because He knew him.  Their relationship was real.  He knew Job would not lose sight of who his God is and would continue to have faith no matter how horrible it got.
Warped theology.  We all have our ideas on what is truth and what is not.  We know how we would like it to be, but God’s word is specific on how it is to be.  I encourage you, dive in. There are lots of opportunities to find a bible study out there or even find one online.  God wants you to get to know Him, His desire is to love on you and extend, love mercy, grace and hope!
See you next time!

Saturday, March 10, 2018

Clouded Chaos

Welcome to Trace’s Space. Was thinking about this today.  When you come from a home that is nothing but chaos, it is only natural for you to engage in what you know.  If you have never had boundaries, or been taught basic life skills it is difficult to comply.  If we are real here folks, children who live this struggle, can’t learn until a behavior is actually addressed.  Sure they are street smart, and in that alone is why they strive to be in control, natural leaders, but not good ones.
We can be kind and nurture, but it’s not enough.  
We are missing something.
I think often about my first year at my job and how the classroom I was in was the last room to be filled.  I think out of 20 kids we had four who could handle the day.  People would walk past our room and look in the window to see what craziness was happening in there.  We had parents ask to have their children moved to other rooms.  It was my first taste of early childhood reality.  It was bitter.
I often wonder what made me stay.
Actually I know.  I prayed myself into this job.  I kind of knew after a random hug from a three year old that it was my fate.  This little one had it tough, so did we.  It was a tough time in the Horne household, but that is a story for another time.  See we have been right where some of the folks that myself and my co-workers work with, and, hey! we might actually still be there.
For every ounce of crazy I encountered that first year, there were prayers that went up.  I remember holding an escapee and praying that God would make him rest! Please God! He was mean, he was big, and he could toss a table... but in all that, I loved that baby.  He was three.
We had it all, from kids who didn’t want to go home, to one who would grow up to be a chemist.  Yes, a legit chemist.  It was so hard.  Every heartache went Home with me, every broken family went home with me... my mind was consumed with the brokenness.  My five year old son said to me, mom I don’t want to hear about them anymore.  But they were part of me, and still are.  That part of what happens in my daily life has not changed, I bring it home, if you don’t, you are not human.
Since the beginning of time families have been living in chaos.  The very first family in the Bible was full of deceit, and violence, brought on by manipulation.  When it started out I believe there was no intent to change the destiny of the human race, but their flesh got in the way and they got caught up in wanting more.  After partaking in the one thing God told them they could not have, they were ashamed not just because they were naked physically, but their sin was very much transparent to God.  He told them not to eat of the fruit, they did.  That fruit wasn’t what we think it was, they tasted and saw for the very first time, sin and shame.  It quickly spread into their family and the first murder took place because of jealousy, not just jealousy because of family favoritism but because one brother who chose to follow God was being blessed! Cain didn’t have to tell God He killed Abel, He already knew,  God already knew Adam and Eve were naked, until they ate the fruit, they didn’t know, naked was well, just naked! This family had become a hot mess! It doesn’t say God turned His back on them, sin and all, they were still His.
The Bible is full of folks just like us, good, bad and ugly, yet God still loves us, hot messes and all!
Children become what they see and hear.  If your home is full of chaos day in and day out, it is very difficult to learn to live outside of it.  Imagine being three or four and constantly being exposed to drug and alcohol abuse, or physical or sexual violence.  Being talked to like you are an animal, then being placed somewhere that you are expected to comply.  To follow rules, adapt to routines, to learn.  No matter how safe, how calm, for that child it’s unnatural.  It’s about survival, and if that means trying to draw folks into their chaos, that’s exactly what they try to do.  Now here is where I add the not all kids act out, or some kids have medical issues that cause behaviors, or for every five you have that act out you have three kids who have been blessed with what we would consider normal chaos! Does that make sense?
I guess the whole point here is, we all have chaos in our lives and sometimes we are so consumed in our own we cease to notice how hard life is for others.
I wish I could fix it.  I wish children didn’t have to suffer because of the poor life choices of their parents.  I wish I could calm the chaos.
Lord today I pray for all children, that You Lord extend a hand of calmness and soothe their little souls.  That they somehow find their way through the chaos and confusion that this wor,d deals them every day! Let them run and play, and dance in fields of Grace!  This I pray, Amen!
See you next time!


Saturday, March 3, 2018

Polar Opposite

Welcome to Trace’s Space.  At work we have magnetic wands, you know those things old ladies use at bingo to pick up their bingo chips.  Because magnets have a positive and negative end, when you try to put them together using the same positive energy (or negative), no matter how hard you try you can’t force them together.
Science is a cool thing!
Lately I have been feeling so disconnected.  No matter where I go or what I do, I sense this energy that makes me feel not wanted.  I play these scenarios in my head, is it my age, my weight, my looks, my smile or lack their of?  Are people tired of me, is my knowledge out dated not relatable for this time?  Do the things that connected me to others not matter any longer?  I can be in a room full of folks and feel alone, am I depressed? What is wrong with me?
Are you there? Stick with me here!
If we are honest more of us are there than care to admit.
First of all I have been not feeling well, so I get that, I’m super sensitive, but ugh, what a lonely place this is.  It’s in this season of darkness a person such as I needs TLC, and because we have not been a supplier of that for others, I guess folks just figure we are hard and don’t need it.
I’m not good at that touchy feely reaching out and hugging stuff.  While you can read my face, I hide a lot in my heart.  While I don’t physically embrace folks, I am a easy conversationalist.
I see your face when you see me coming! Am I getting what’s coming to me?  I assume folks prefer me to be silent.  I am that person people see at Walmart and hide from.
I’m tired! Worn.
But what I sense is that this season of feeling sorry for myself is brought on by my illness, and I am pretty sure anyone who is wearing the shoes I have been handed, feels this pain.
So why am I sharing all of this?
Because transparency is abosolutely necessary in this crazy world.  People need to know the state of mind of others in order to reach out.  I’m not begging for attention, I am begging for awareness.  To caution others of how we are capable of hurting others just by a look on the face, or not even giving a look.  Trust me this is all stuff I have done! I spent time with God repenting for how I have treated and felt about others because I am sure I am feeling this because I have been hateful and jealous and not willing to connect.  Not willing to give of myself to spend time with someone who is hurting.
For looking at folks as not being relevant, not valuing thoughts of others no matter how great they are or are not.  We are mean to one another.  We all need to change!
With all the news focus these days being about bullies, you know from the very top to the bottom, there is this easy pattern we can get into, and we are all prone to inferiority complexes.  We have talents, gifting, knowledge, whatever, but we need to remember to whom we belong and where those things come from.  Point blank, we need to REMEMBER where we come from.
Jesus knew exactly how folks felt about Him.  Before his feet touched the earth He knew there would be very few that would get who He is.  He had to identify Himself as I Am.  It was simple, so those around Him could understand the deity was not complicated.   He shook off the haters and got about the Fathers business.
I don’t imagine that was easy, but He is perfect, and guess what, we are not!
This season of polar opposite will pass for me, I am sure, but please if you get nothing else from this, reach out.  Be conscious of how you respond to others.  Reach out and love on others!
If you are suffering find a friend, seek help.
Lord today, I pray for the broken and hurting,  that when folks see them they reach out and love on them, Lord help me to be better at that too.  This world is darker every day, help us to be light, and show folks more of You! You are Love, and through You we are able! Amen
See you next time