Polar Opposite

Welcome to Trace’s Space.  At work we have magnetic wands, you know those things old ladies use at bingo to pick up their bingo chips.  Because magnets have a positive and negative end, when you try to put them together using the same positive energy (or negative), no matter how hard you try you can’t force them together.
Science is a cool thing!
Lately I have been feeling so disconnected.  No matter where I go or what I do, I sense this energy that makes me feel not wanted.  I play these scenarios in my head, is it my age, my weight, my looks, my smile or lack their of?  Are people tired of me, is my knowledge out dated not relatable for this time?  Do the things that connected me to others not matter any longer?  I can be in a room full of folks and feel alone, am I depressed? What is wrong with me?
Are you there? Stick with me here!
If we are honest more of us are there than care to admit.
First of all I have been not feeling well, so I get that, I’m super sensitive, but ugh, what a lonely place this is.  It’s in this season of darkness a person such as I needs TLC, and because we have not been a supplier of that for others, I guess folks just figure we are hard and don’t need it.
I’m not good at that touchy feely reaching out and hugging stuff.  While you can read my face, I hide a lot in my heart.  While I don’t physically embrace folks, I am a easy conversationalist.
I see your face when you see me coming! Am I getting what’s coming to me?  I assume folks prefer me to be silent.  I am that person people see at Walmart and hide from.
I’m tired! Worn.
But what I sense is that this season of feeling sorry for myself is brought on by my illness, and I am pretty sure anyone who is wearing the shoes I have been handed, feels this pain.
So why am I sharing all of this?
Because transparency is abosolutely necessary in this crazy world.  People need to know the state of mind of others in order to reach out.  I’m not begging for attention, I am begging for awareness.  To caution others of how we are capable of hurting others just by a look on the face, or not even giving a look.  Trust me this is all stuff I have done! I spent time with God repenting for how I have treated and felt about others because I am sure I am feeling this because I have been hateful and jealous and not willing to connect.  Not willing to give of myself to spend time with someone who is hurting.
For looking at folks as not being relevant, not valuing thoughts of others no matter how great they are or are not.  We are mean to one another.  We all need to change!
With all the news focus these days being about bullies, you know from the very top to the bottom, there is this easy pattern we can get into, and we are all prone to inferiority complexes.  We have talents, gifting, knowledge, whatever, but we need to remember to whom we belong and where those things come from.  Point blank, we need to REMEMBER where we come from.
Jesus knew exactly how folks felt about Him.  Before his feet touched the earth He knew there would be very few that would get who He is.  He had to identify Himself as I Am.  It was simple, so those around Him could understand the deity was not complicated.   He shook off the haters and got about the Fathers business.
I don’t imagine that was easy, but He is perfect, and guess what, we are not!
This season of polar opposite will pass for me, I am sure, but please if you get nothing else from this, reach out.  Be conscious of how you respond to others.  Reach out and love on others!
If you are suffering find a friend, seek help.
Lord today, I pray for the broken and hurting,  that when folks see them they reach out and love on them, Lord help me to be better at that too.  This world is darker every day, help us to be light, and show folks more of You! You are Love, and through You we are able! Amen
See you next time