Welcome To Trace’s Space. Oh boy, funny how memories flood our thoughts during the holiday season.
In the car today my husband asked me what it is I would like for Christmas. I hadn’t given much thought this year of anything that I’d really like, or need...I have been focused on what I would be gifting everyone else, and I responded that I’m really good at giving, not so much with receiving. He thought that was funny, had a dialog with me about if he gave me gifts without thought I would be mad...in a way he was right. When I receive a gift, the monitary value means nothing, what matters to me is that a lot of thought was put into it, and the gift has meaning between me and the person who gave it to me. Does this make sense? My gifting is intentional, thoughtful, and well I would hope everyone else is wired that way too, yeah, ok, I’m a realist, but a girl can dream, right?
So a little later I got to thinking, and I went back in time and remembered a time that was tough, and actually ugly, and it involved gifts, and my ungreatfulness.
At work we use to do Secret Santa. What happened was we would draw names, and for the five days before Christmas break we would leave a little token as a clue so that the person who was being gifted might be able to figure out who their Santa was.
So it began. I started to receive gifts... really strange gifts. Nothing that really had much to do with anything... like travel supplies, a loofa, a mirror, a back scratcher, story short, weird...I actually thought my Santa was playing tricks to throw me off and that my gift on the last day was going to be AMAZING! Boy was I wrong! It was awful, not really, but the thought that counts went straight to you know where and I sobbed! I thought my goodness this person hates me, and didn’t want to play once they got my name, blah, blah, blah! Poor me! Then BOOM!
God slammed me with reality. He spoke! Trace go thank her! I was like nope ain’t going to do it. I will not thank this person for this bunch of stupid stuff, He again spoke, go thank her. So I attempted to put on my big girl pants and think of words that wouldn’t be a blatant lie, so I could do as I was being told, my blood was boiling, but the reality, my heart was hurt, she was not worthy of my thankfulness, but....
I gathered my thoughts, put on my happy face and proceeded to go and tend to my fake thankfulness.
So I only had to walk up about twenty steps and by the time I got to the top of the stairs I was aware that there was something to these unwanted gifts, and that God was trying to show my hard heart something. As I opened the door and looked at her face I realized that her gifts had nothing to do with me, but everything to do with her struggles. So I said, hey thanks for being my Santa, I am thankful for my gifts. This woman got the biggest smile on her face, and then I received the gift I had been waiting for, I gave her validation, and made her happy! She was really clueless on how this game was to be played. It was a tough season for her as well, she needed encouraged and hugged and loved on, and isn’t that what it really is all about? My gift, her moment of joy!
We can’t all be a Magi in the sense of giving physically appealing or monetary gifts, but what we can do is accept all gifts no matter how humble as if they are worthy. The Shepherds brought nothing but themselves to the stable (read that sentence twice)...they had no fancy gifts, they actually had no idea they’d be visiting a newborn King, yet their presence was enough.
So as we reach the anticipated day of giving and receiving gifts in Celebration of His birth, let’s not get so caught up in the what it is or what it’s worth, and focus more so on the why...
17 Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning. (James 1:17 NKJV)
Have a Merry Christmas! See you next time.
Saturday, December 16, 2017
Monday, December 4, 2017
Silent Night
Welcome to Trace’s Space. I imagine the scene was quite chaotic yet very holy. That night in the stable where Jesus was born. Joseph and Mary in a very humble situation, Mary giving birth to the One who came to save a lost and chaotic world. No doctors, no meds to make her comfortable, not even a clean blanket to wrap the new born baby in, but in the midst of the chaos, somehow it manifested into calm, holy.
Mary I am sure gazed into the eyes of her baby boy and looked beyond the promise of a Messiah and saw pure love and trust. Can you even imagine what joy she felt holding her baby. He is ours, but He was hers, to nurse, to comfort, to teach to speak, walk, potty train, all the things we do as mothers, as parents... yet he is God.
Silent Night.
Fast forward a couple of thousand years. We have entered into the hustle and bustle of the holiday season. While we shop and prepare to celebrate His birth, our world seems to be more chaotic than ever, and Christmas seems less holy than ever, yet in the midst of that chaos, calm is manifesting, and holy moments are happening, we just have to open our eyes and ears and receive them.
I really believe that this particular Christmas season is a time that God is calling on His people to not just rejoice in His coming, but to reflect, to remember, to embrace the chaos and find peace in it.
It’s been a tough season for most of us. The trials of the day, you know, illness, financial woes, work issues, family troubles, the list could go on and on... an unhappy king! Seems familiar, huh?
We all are struggling, but we need to seek Him in our trouble and find the calm in the chaos.
Joseph and Mary were in Bethlehem for the census in order for the government to tax them. They weren’t there because they wanted to be. But yet it was right where God wanted them to be! (That’s a word for someone)
Finding peace in chaos.
Silent Night.
The song moves me. I again think of Mary holding her baby, and the reaction of every person who made contact with Jesus...Even the heavens were aware of His birth. All was calm, All was bright. Heavenly Hosts sang, Shepherds quaked (trembled) in His presence. Yet He was tender and mild (calm).
So this Christmas I pray that we find peace in the chaos, and Rest in His Mercy!
Merry Christmas.
See you next time.
Mary I am sure gazed into the eyes of her baby boy and looked beyond the promise of a Messiah and saw pure love and trust. Can you even imagine what joy she felt holding her baby. He is ours, but He was hers, to nurse, to comfort, to teach to speak, walk, potty train, all the things we do as mothers, as parents... yet he is God.
Silent Night.
Fast forward a couple of thousand years. We have entered into the hustle and bustle of the holiday season. While we shop and prepare to celebrate His birth, our world seems to be more chaotic than ever, and Christmas seems less holy than ever, yet in the midst of that chaos, calm is manifesting, and holy moments are happening, we just have to open our eyes and ears and receive them.
I really believe that this particular Christmas season is a time that God is calling on His people to not just rejoice in His coming, but to reflect, to remember, to embrace the chaos and find peace in it.
It’s been a tough season for most of us. The trials of the day, you know, illness, financial woes, work issues, family troubles, the list could go on and on... an unhappy king! Seems familiar, huh?
We all are struggling, but we need to seek Him in our trouble and find the calm in the chaos.
Joseph and Mary were in Bethlehem for the census in order for the government to tax them. They weren’t there because they wanted to be. But yet it was right where God wanted them to be! (That’s a word for someone)
Finding peace in chaos.
Silent Night.
The song moves me. I again think of Mary holding her baby, and the reaction of every person who made contact with Jesus...Even the heavens were aware of His birth. All was calm, All was bright. Heavenly Hosts sang, Shepherds quaked (trembled) in His presence. Yet He was tender and mild (calm).
Silent Night, Holy Night.
All is calm, All is bright
Round yon Virgin, mother and child
Holy infant so tender and mild
Sleep in a Heavenly Peace
Sleep in Heavenly Peace
Merry Christmas.
See you next time.
Monday, October 16, 2017
You Are Surrounded
Welcome to Trace’s Space. I recently read an article from Focus On The Family on the “ Me Too” campaign. For those of you who are not familiar the campaign desires to bring attention to those who have been sexually assaulted. I had been seeing those two words, “Me Too” all over social media but had not yet gotten the jest of what it was about, and this article was full of information on the movement.
So research shows that we are surrounded by folks that have been victims of sexual assault, whether it be physically, or mentally, including sexual harassment. While this study focused mostly on women, commentors on the article brought attention to men who have also suffered from sexual assault.
So the word surrounded kept tugging at my heart. And God put this little thing into my mind and I shared it on the book, but I believe it is definitely to be shared on my blog, it’s deeply personal, but it’s truth, so here it is.
Sometimes those things in the depth of your soul, even though they are covered and the shame removed are still too fresh!
You are surrounded...
See shame is a funny thing. We can be ashamed of that which we have done, but we also can be ashamed because of the things done to us. You know those things that we thought we had a handle on, those things we thought God has expelled from our hearts, but deep down it’s still there. You know those things we own because we allowed ourselves to get ourselves into a tough spot. We find ourselves being surrounded, not only by others, but by that thing that happened.
It’s personal.
Her friends told her not to go. Alcohol and pride were the motivator, the ugliness of the evening was not only environmental (it was raining) but so was the outcome. She was assaulted by someone she knew, and when it was over he took her back to her car and acted like it never happened.
For years she acted like it never happened. Sometimes she still does. She blamed herself, never did she blame him. Even when she shared that dark deep secret with her husband, and he wanted to hurt him, she took ownership. She surrounded herself with guilt and pain.
Surrounded...
It’s personal.
While in our minds we know God can heal the wounds, our hearts still feel the violation. Then we go through life constantly struggling with trust issues among other things.
It’s personal.
Me too!
God is faithful, while we may not see this in our suffering, He is.
I shall walk before the Lord in the land of the living. He is my defender, my rock and fortress. And He can be that for you too.
Even as Christians we find ourselves not only being surrounded, but also being those who surround.
All we can do sometimes is pray, and press on.
So today Lord we pray, we pray for peace in our souls! Amen.
See you next time.
So research shows that we are surrounded by folks that have been victims of sexual assault, whether it be physically, or mentally, including sexual harassment. While this study focused mostly on women, commentors on the article brought attention to men who have also suffered from sexual assault.
So the word surrounded kept tugging at my heart. And God put this little thing into my mind and I shared it on the book, but I believe it is definitely to be shared on my blog, it’s deeply personal, but it’s truth, so here it is.
Sometimes those things in the depth of your soul, even though they are covered and the shame removed are still too fresh!
You are surrounded...
See shame is a funny thing. We can be ashamed of that which we have done, but we also can be ashamed because of the things done to us. You know those things that we thought we had a handle on, those things we thought God has expelled from our hearts, but deep down it’s still there. You know those things we own because we allowed ourselves to get ourselves into a tough spot. We find ourselves being surrounded, not only by others, but by that thing that happened.
It’s personal.
Her friends told her not to go. Alcohol and pride were the motivator, the ugliness of the evening was not only environmental (it was raining) but so was the outcome. She was assaulted by someone she knew, and when it was over he took her back to her car and acted like it never happened.
For years she acted like it never happened. Sometimes she still does. She blamed herself, never did she blame him. Even when she shared that dark deep secret with her husband, and he wanted to hurt him, she took ownership. She surrounded herself with guilt and pain.
Surrounded...
It’s personal.
While in our minds we know God can heal the wounds, our hearts still feel the violation. Then we go through life constantly struggling with trust issues among other things.
It’s personal.
Me too!
God is faithful, while we may not see this in our suffering, He is.
I shall walk before the Lord in the land of the living. He is my defender, my rock and fortress. And He can be that for you too.
Even as Christians we find ourselves not only being surrounded, but also being those who surround.
All we can do sometimes is pray, and press on.
So today Lord we pray, we pray for peace in our souls! Amen.
See you next time.
Friday, September 15, 2017
Boom!
Welcome to Trace's Space. Dynamite, flares, firecrackers, homes, yes homes, all come equipped with fuses, how short is yours? I was sitting here watching the news and the story of the day was an explosion caused by a home made device, and I really got to thinking on how or why, then the wiring in my head lead me to this thought, what causes one to explode, a person that is, and is it immediate, slow , does it happen very easily with a match, or does it require intricate wiring!
The Bible warns us on being quick in the anger response, but do we really heed that warning, I would have to say I am terrible in the non-reaction area, I am often quick to anger, and definitely am working on this.
Recently I was faced with an issue that angered me so much I couldn't think of anything else. This issue was brought on by judgement of others and quick responses. Not completely thinking things through, which resulted in honest people placing trust in folks who have proven that they are nothing more than liars. My fuse was lit, burned quickly, and BOOM! The worst part, I could do nothing to fix it. I felt responsible, yet I felt used, I recognized that what I believed to be the best decision for all parties involved was tainted buy a carefully wired explosive.
So for days, I kept exploding over and over, rehashing the issue of the hour, losing sleep, feeling guilty, feeling stupid! Ugh! Then it happened, the fuse refused to light! I had what I call an epiphany!
Why was I allowing something I could not change, spark the flame! Hmmm, that was something I could control, I had the ability to remove myself, and cut the fuse so short that the folks flinging matches at me could no longer have access to me or my device! Which was my fuse!
You know we all know who tries to kill, steal and destroy, we have talked about that flying monkey before. But here is the deal, that persons idea of destroying us is covered. It's that simple! It's covered! We don't need approval, we don't need to own other peoples garbage! We are covered. That covering smothers out the sparks of dishonesty, selfeshness, hate, ugly, whatever!
The only thing is, the more the enemy sees how much you are willing to trust in God the more he puts folks who bid his due in your path. You have to recognize that is what it is, and folks who have a hard time seeing him for who he is, or place their trust in the wrong folks, have to get to a place on their own to say, hey, get behind me Satan, I got no time for you!
This whole situation was for me an eye opener to help me make some critical choices on what it is that God has called me to do, and to focus on that, and even though my intentions were good, that season of involvement is over for me! The enemy took it, saw a weakness, but God reclaimed me, and will make it good, because that is who He is!
Lord I thank You for Your faithfulness, for not being to hard on me in my season of short fuseness. I thank You for showing me that you are the provider of that which is good, honor goes to those who deserve it, and in the big picture, I want folks to see the Jesus that truly resides in me. Lord I pray for those who don't know you, and that the bitterness they have or what ever condition of the heart they have be softened, because You are good, You are Love! Amen
So Boom! God is so Good!
See you next time
The Bible warns us on being quick in the anger response, but do we really heed that warning, I would have to say I am terrible in the non-reaction area, I am often quick to anger, and definitely am working on this.
Recently I was faced with an issue that angered me so much I couldn't think of anything else. This issue was brought on by judgement of others and quick responses. Not completely thinking things through, which resulted in honest people placing trust in folks who have proven that they are nothing more than liars. My fuse was lit, burned quickly, and BOOM! The worst part, I could do nothing to fix it. I felt responsible, yet I felt used, I recognized that what I believed to be the best decision for all parties involved was tainted buy a carefully wired explosive.
So for days, I kept exploding over and over, rehashing the issue of the hour, losing sleep, feeling guilty, feeling stupid! Ugh! Then it happened, the fuse refused to light! I had what I call an epiphany!
Why was I allowing something I could not change, spark the flame! Hmmm, that was something I could control, I had the ability to remove myself, and cut the fuse so short that the folks flinging matches at me could no longer have access to me or my device! Which was my fuse!
You know we all know who tries to kill, steal and destroy, we have talked about that flying monkey before. But here is the deal, that persons idea of destroying us is covered. It's that simple! It's covered! We don't need approval, we don't need to own other peoples garbage! We are covered. That covering smothers out the sparks of dishonesty, selfeshness, hate, ugly, whatever!
The only thing is, the more the enemy sees how much you are willing to trust in God the more he puts folks who bid his due in your path. You have to recognize that is what it is, and folks who have a hard time seeing him for who he is, or place their trust in the wrong folks, have to get to a place on their own to say, hey, get behind me Satan, I got no time for you!
This whole situation was for me an eye opener to help me make some critical choices on what it is that God has called me to do, and to focus on that, and even though my intentions were good, that season of involvement is over for me! The enemy took it, saw a weakness, but God reclaimed me, and will make it good, because that is who He is!
Lord I thank You for Your faithfulness, for not being to hard on me in my season of short fuseness. I thank You for showing me that you are the provider of that which is good, honor goes to those who deserve it, and in the big picture, I want folks to see the Jesus that truly resides in me. Lord I pray for those who don't know you, and that the bitterness they have or what ever condition of the heart they have be softened, because You are good, You are Love! Amen
So Boom! God is so Good!
See you next time
Saturday, August 19, 2017
IF YOUR HAPPY AND YOU KNOW IT!
Welcome to Traces Space! A good friend of mine once said to me that her Aunt use to say to folks that upset her, "I don't need you to make my happiness". This past couple of days the persuit of happiness has been a question thrown at me several times. Co-existing requires you to be happy in your circumstances, also you actually do depend on others to find or enjoy true happiness. That joy that dwells deep in your heart reveals itself best when you surround yourself with folks who share in your joy and sorrow, who wave victory flags beside you, who don't criticize your every move or even facial expression.
Sadness is natural, as is depression. To say we are never upset or disappointed is untruthful, and I believe as you live a life of truth, transparency is not optional. Am I saying you need to be a Debbie Downer about every issue? No! But to act as if things do not effect you, or to pretend that you don't care about something is a lie. That silence or non-reaction will eventually corrode your soul.
So, I'm not happy! The joy has been squeezed from me for this brief season. The worries of the world have gotten the best of me! I can say I choose joy all I want to, but for what ever reason, I am angered and outraged, I am tired and worn! God where are you?
Why do people hate? Why do people not believe you truly care about the hate that has been shown to them? Why do people only care about themselves? Why do babies go hungry, or get sold into prostitution? Why is social injustice so prevailent? Why do people abuse their bodies, why do people abuse each other? Why are my words and reaction grating to the souls of others? Why can't people be decent? Why? Why? Why?
Then to be called out because you appear to be unhappy!
I am so afraid of being labeled a narcissist. But at the end if the day my thoughts are if Taylor Swift can be one, why can't I? I mean she constantly writes songs about people doing her wrong with no solutions!
I need my spirit revived! I need to seriously die to myself and regain focus! I know what I need!
I need to be able to let it go, let God! I need to get over the disappointment, and hurt.
When you wear your heart on a sleeve and your instinct is to protect and fix, the times are a changing gets overwhelming!
“Restore to me the joy of Your salvation, And uphold me by Your generous Spirit.”
Psalms 51:12 NKJV
I need restoration! I need lifted up! How about you?
Lord I come before you and lay this season of unhappiness before You! I know that Your Joy brings strength, but I feel so empty! I know the world can only be changed one prayer at a time, but I can't fathom the thoughts of all the hate and discord. Lord help me, Lord help us all! Amen!
So if your happy and you know it, awesome! If not Trust God.. reach out to Him and pray, I know I am!
See you next time! 😁
Saturday, July 29, 2017
When Did You Lose Your Churchiness? Have You?
Welcome to Traces Space. So, when did YOU lose your churchiness? I know, dear Lord where is she going with this one? But seriously, is who we are, who we where then, when we chose to become followers of Jesus?
I was thinking about churchy people this morning, and yes I was being a little judgmental, but hey, it is what it is. I was thinking about a time when it was all about thinking I need to maintain a certain persona in order to fit in or even just belong, to be able to walk along my fellow believers. Yes the judgemental attitude, totally towards myself.
Years ago when I was a very young church goer, I believed in order to serve I had to involve myself in every activity that happened in the church. Now volunteering and serving are essential in your journey, but the guilt I felt when I wasn't able to attend or wasn't invited to attend became overwhelming, so then I became a slacker.
See everything we do should be done with a servants attitude, and I mean everything. It's hard in our church life, but in our world life to maintain a servants heart, and why? Because of our churchiness and well to be honest, the churchiness of others, or lack there of or too much.
So when did I lose mine? When I began to focus on the shortcomings of others and blaming them for my church issues, these issues are mine (last blog). But I was seeing person after person either walk away from serving, or running like a wild man. I was seeing the attitude like church, and creating my own attitude. Serving was becoming a chore, and serving should be a joy. The calling on my life was engaged in battle, and the only way to win, own it and repent.
Week after week I was grumbling more and more, not only over church stuff, but life in general stuff. Nothing was making me happy. The things I loved most or felt drawn to, were causing my heart to ache. I kept saying over and over, God is faithful and His Joy is my strength.
My journey was no longer on a smooth highway, but on a pothole inbeaded dirt path. God help me!
So then as usual, He began to.
Is it fixed? No, but it's in process.
This is what as I write this He is showing me. He does not want us to be churchy! He wants us to walk in fullness of Him. He wants us to find our place and claim it. He wants us to be completely whole, not to be full of holes, being holy is not taking on the appearance of a donut. His desire is that when we drench ourselves in His goodness and serve out our calling, that we accept that gift was created by Him and given to us from Him.
We are not capable and we're not designed by Him to be perfect, and it is not our job to identify or call out anyone else's churchiness! Read that twice! He will in His time take care of it!
With that said...Lord I bring my churchiness self righteousness attitude before You today! I am sorry for the attitudes that I have had towards others and well towards you. Lord forgive my grumbling heart, my heart full of jealousy and my heart that has desired to be anything different than who You have called me to be! Take me back to my willingness to serve You and to do it with Joy, and Lord for those who are right here with me... show them too! I love You Lord and am nothing without You, Amen!
Keep the faith and rediscover your joy!
See you next time.
I was thinking about churchy people this morning, and yes I was being a little judgmental, but hey, it is what it is. I was thinking about a time when it was all about thinking I need to maintain a certain persona in order to fit in or even just belong, to be able to walk along my fellow believers. Yes the judgemental attitude, totally towards myself.
Years ago when I was a very young church goer, I believed in order to serve I had to involve myself in every activity that happened in the church. Now volunteering and serving are essential in your journey, but the guilt I felt when I wasn't able to attend or wasn't invited to attend became overwhelming, so then I became a slacker.
See everything we do should be done with a servants attitude, and I mean everything. It's hard in our church life, but in our world life to maintain a servants heart, and why? Because of our churchiness and well to be honest, the churchiness of others, or lack there of or too much.
So when did I lose mine? When I began to focus on the shortcomings of others and blaming them for my church issues, these issues are mine (last blog). But I was seeing person after person either walk away from serving, or running like a wild man. I was seeing the attitude like church, and creating my own attitude. Serving was becoming a chore, and serving should be a joy. The calling on my life was engaged in battle, and the only way to win, own it and repent.
Week after week I was grumbling more and more, not only over church stuff, but life in general stuff. Nothing was making me happy. The things I loved most or felt drawn to, were causing my heart to ache. I kept saying over and over, God is faithful and His Joy is my strength.
My journey was no longer on a smooth highway, but on a pothole inbeaded dirt path. God help me!
So then as usual, He began to.
Is it fixed? No, but it's in process.
This is what as I write this He is showing me. He does not want us to be churchy! He wants us to walk in fullness of Him. He wants us to find our place and claim it. He wants us to be completely whole, not to be full of holes, being holy is not taking on the appearance of a donut. His desire is that when we drench ourselves in His goodness and serve out our calling, that we accept that gift was created by Him and given to us from Him.
We are not capable and we're not designed by Him to be perfect, and it is not our job to identify or call out anyone else's churchiness! Read that twice! He will in His time take care of it!
With that said...Lord I bring my churchiness self righteousness attitude before You today! I am sorry for the attitudes that I have had towards others and well towards you. Lord forgive my grumbling heart, my heart full of jealousy and my heart that has desired to be anything different than who You have called me to be! Take me back to my willingness to serve You and to do it with Joy, and Lord for those who are right here with me... show them too! I love You Lord and am nothing without You, Amen!
Keep the faith and rediscover your joy!
See you next time.
Wednesday, July 26, 2017
What Do They Want From Us?
Welcome to Traces Space. What do they want from us? Someone recently in a conversation said that to me, I really had no answer, but jokenly said, Your soul. As usual when I come off with something like that it stirs something in me, and I got to thinking, what is it folks want from us, what is required, and what are we actually required to give.
We know who wants our soul, or at least we hope we do, and there is an adversary that is constantly coming to try to steal, kill and destroy it. This struggle begins the moment we are born, and it's sneaky and very clever. It reeks havoc in our lives by playing with our emotions, our health, our finances, anything that you have allowed to become your personal button pusher. While we pray that we can be strong, run the life race, have major faith, sometimes it feel like a person could spontaneously combust. Can I have a witness?
So recently stuff I could usually care less about has grated my soul. I can feel this self righteous anger building and honestly I believe it's making me physically ill. My tolerance for folks is very low, and areas where I have always felt confident have become weary. In all honesty, just by acknowledging this, I feel better, because my feelings are sinful. I have such conviction in this area of my life right now, and it's not from the accuser.
I think God is calling me out because He doesn't want me to be where I am right now. This is not who He is, because He doesn't like ugly, and hey, I'm being that!
If we are honest, recognizing it is where healing begins.
When we truly engage in walking the walk and talking the talk, transparency is not optional. You constantly have to come clean with God and accept His consequences. And while we may want to blame others for our thoughts or our actions, at the end of the day no one owns it but us. Ouch!
We can play the blame game, but our responses and actions that come forth need to be quickly analyzed, and prayerfully lead. See being reactional is nothing more than being careless, and when we are careless it leads to disaster.
It is so hard when we have been hurt, when our trust has been violated. It is so hard when it's not the first time it has happened, when you have found yourself constantly forgiving over and over, but who are we? We have been the recipient of that kind of forgiveness for 2000 years.
I am not trying to be holier than thou here. Honestly this is a jab at repentance. I need to come clean. So do you.
What do they want from us? It doesn't matter. Our accountability strictly belongs at the throne of God. Don't misunderstand that, it doesn't mean we are free to go rogue and not live up to standards in the work place or at home, we still have life stuff we have to do, but those things do not own us. We are not slaves to any one or anything, our freedom and redemption comes from Christ. He is the one who truly gives and takes away, blessed be the name of the Lord.
The Joy of the Lord is our strength! He is faithful and true. His words are not invalid, and His love infinite, His wisdom the same.
Instead of worrying so much about them, we need to focus more on Him and that which He wants from us.
Lord I come before you with a repentant heart. I am sorry for allowing it to become about me, I am sorry that others haven't mattered. I need to allow You to do Your job, You are much better at it than me. Restore my joy, and my trust. Protect me from my enemy's, and restore my faith and peace, because that comes from You. Amen!
So what do they want from us?
See you next time
We know who wants our soul, or at least we hope we do, and there is an adversary that is constantly coming to try to steal, kill and destroy it. This struggle begins the moment we are born, and it's sneaky and very clever. It reeks havoc in our lives by playing with our emotions, our health, our finances, anything that you have allowed to become your personal button pusher. While we pray that we can be strong, run the life race, have major faith, sometimes it feel like a person could spontaneously combust. Can I have a witness?
So recently stuff I could usually care less about has grated my soul. I can feel this self righteous anger building and honestly I believe it's making me physically ill. My tolerance for folks is very low, and areas where I have always felt confident have become weary. In all honesty, just by acknowledging this, I feel better, because my feelings are sinful. I have such conviction in this area of my life right now, and it's not from the accuser.
I think God is calling me out because He doesn't want me to be where I am right now. This is not who He is, because He doesn't like ugly, and hey, I'm being that!
If we are honest, recognizing it is where healing begins.
When we truly engage in walking the walk and talking the talk, transparency is not optional. You constantly have to come clean with God and accept His consequences. And while we may want to blame others for our thoughts or our actions, at the end of the day no one owns it but us. Ouch!
We can play the blame game, but our responses and actions that come forth need to be quickly analyzed, and prayerfully lead. See being reactional is nothing more than being careless, and when we are careless it leads to disaster.
It is so hard when we have been hurt, when our trust has been violated. It is so hard when it's not the first time it has happened, when you have found yourself constantly forgiving over and over, but who are we? We have been the recipient of that kind of forgiveness for 2000 years.
I am not trying to be holier than thou here. Honestly this is a jab at repentance. I need to come clean. So do you.
What do they want from us? It doesn't matter. Our accountability strictly belongs at the throne of God. Don't misunderstand that, it doesn't mean we are free to go rogue and not live up to standards in the work place or at home, we still have life stuff we have to do, but those things do not own us. We are not slaves to any one or anything, our freedom and redemption comes from Christ. He is the one who truly gives and takes away, blessed be the name of the Lord.
The Joy of the Lord is our strength! He is faithful and true. His words are not invalid, and His love infinite, His wisdom the same.
Instead of worrying so much about them, we need to focus more on Him and that which He wants from us.
Lord I come before you with a repentant heart. I am sorry for allowing it to become about me, I am sorry that others haven't mattered. I need to allow You to do Your job, You are much better at it than me. Restore my joy, and my trust. Protect me from my enemy's, and restore my faith and peace, because that comes from You. Amen!
So what do they want from us?
See you next time
Monday, June 19, 2017
Who do they see?
Welcome to Trace's Space! Who do they see?
These past few weeks I have been in a struggle, which I am sure those who know me, are very aware of. I look at myself, I am very dissatisfied with my appearance, I have gained about twenty five pounds since last summer. I feel ineffective in the things that I do, and feel my words, as the leave my mouth, grate the very ears that hear them, and they grate the very depths of my being. I do not like who I am in this season, or should I say who I see.
I am so discouraged in the events of the day. Not just the world things, but the outcomes of things that I have found myself in the middle of. Knowing that my words could not keep disappointment away, and certainly they could not prevent the is what it is outcome. Would I say I am in a season of dissatisfaction? well a little. See my persona is that of a fixer!
Why does it matter?
Simply, it matters because we are responsible for our words and our actions, ownership is part of who we are as humans. I see this as what is wrong with the world today. In a trophy give away world, where every one wins, the thing that is lacking is ownership!
We grumble, we complain, folks get really tired of it, but we can't help it. We do nothing to inspire change, and we model nothing that encourages positivity. Oh boy! That's rough! We model nothing that encourages positivity!
We are glued to the television, we are glued to our electronic hand held devices waiting on world events that are horrendous, waiting for our leaders to fall, finding ourselves thinking that somehow rejoicing in failure will make us feel better about who we are.
We are guilty!
But for the love of the Almighty, how do we change?
Change begins with me, as it does with you. We have to learn somehow to find peace in chaos. We have to find the place or at the very least an understanding of how God desires we model who He is in this tough season.
I haven't been very good at seeing it lately, because I have only been seeing myself! How about you? Who do you see?
The Bible warns us of self love and self pleasure, and there are tons of folks in the Word who have been right where we are, or soon, where we have been. From the beginning folks always had the if it feels good do it, don't wait on God attitude. I really believe that's why we are drawn to folks like, Abraham, Sarah, David, and the big 12. There is a little of us in each of them. Think about this, the hope is, as messed up as some of these folks were, God still used them for His Glory!
I am hoping this season ends quickly, or I get prayed out of it. That I get the lesson, apply it, then get back to myself.
So why am I sharing this? Because I feel lead to, also because I know that I know that maybe some of you are right here in this season with me, or so that you may be lead to pray.
Lord, I come before you broken and feeling tough, not digging who I am. My desire is to serve you, to honor you, to worship you. Lord, I pray for those who are right here with me, I pray that you heal our hearts and our minds and that you continue to extend that hand of grace that only comes from you. This I pray, Amen.
Who do they see?
See you next time.
These past few weeks I have been in a struggle, which I am sure those who know me, are very aware of. I look at myself, I am very dissatisfied with my appearance, I have gained about twenty five pounds since last summer. I feel ineffective in the things that I do, and feel my words, as the leave my mouth, grate the very ears that hear them, and they grate the very depths of my being. I do not like who I am in this season, or should I say who I see.
I am so discouraged in the events of the day. Not just the world things, but the outcomes of things that I have found myself in the middle of. Knowing that my words could not keep disappointment away, and certainly they could not prevent the is what it is outcome. Would I say I am in a season of dissatisfaction? well a little. See my persona is that of a fixer!
Why does it matter?
Simply, it matters because we are responsible for our words and our actions, ownership is part of who we are as humans. I see this as what is wrong with the world today. In a trophy give away world, where every one wins, the thing that is lacking is ownership!
We grumble, we complain, folks get really tired of it, but we can't help it. We do nothing to inspire change, and we model nothing that encourages positivity. Oh boy! That's rough! We model nothing that encourages positivity!
We are glued to the television, we are glued to our electronic hand held devices waiting on world events that are horrendous, waiting for our leaders to fall, finding ourselves thinking that somehow rejoicing in failure will make us feel better about who we are.
We are guilty!
But for the love of the Almighty, how do we change?
Change begins with me, as it does with you. We have to learn somehow to find peace in chaos. We have to find the place or at the very least an understanding of how God desires we model who He is in this tough season.
I haven't been very good at seeing it lately, because I have only been seeing myself! How about you? Who do you see?
The Bible warns us of self love and self pleasure, and there are tons of folks in the Word who have been right where we are, or soon, where we have been. From the beginning folks always had the if it feels good do it, don't wait on God attitude. I really believe that's why we are drawn to folks like, Abraham, Sarah, David, and the big 12. There is a little of us in each of them. Think about this, the hope is, as messed up as some of these folks were, God still used them for His Glory!
I am hoping this season ends quickly, or I get prayed out of it. That I get the lesson, apply it, then get back to myself.
So why am I sharing this? Because I feel lead to, also because I know that I know that maybe some of you are right here in this season with me, or so that you may be lead to pray.
Lord, I come before you broken and feeling tough, not digging who I am. My desire is to serve you, to honor you, to worship you. Lord, I pray for those who are right here with me, I pray that you heal our hearts and our minds and that you continue to extend that hand of grace that only comes from you. This I pray, Amen.
Who do they see?
See you next time.
Thursday, June 8, 2017
Jeannie in a Bottle
Welcome to Traces Space. I was just sitting here enjoying a cup of coffee, reading the news of the day, and then some. I then started to become flooded with thoughts, thoughts of how good and well meaning folks are, and well, how cruel and insincere they are as well.
Oh, it's going to get deep here!
Like many of you, if we are honest, I have often felt like the last kid picked for a game in gym class, wait! I was! Anyway, I have always felt as if I wasn't good enough, pretty enough, the right size, and most of all eloquent in the delivery of information, or just being able to engage in conversation.
Trying very hard can cause a person to lose their joy very quickly because even though you have done your very best, you have lost what you were doing just by over doing the process. Being a people pleaser ain't easy, and it's not pleasing. Does that make sense. In other words, folks just want you to get it done, they really could care less about the process... Harsh reality, but that is our world today.
We are the people labeling / pleasing generation. Example, you know her, she's the one who has crazy eyes, they roll just because! Seriously, the girl with blonde hair who tells lame jokes, or the fat worship leader! Isn't she lovely, look at her new shoes!
Now stick with me here, all this negativity is going to take a turn soon!
Years ago I knew someone who I shall call sickening fake niceness. On the outside they appeared to have it all together, they were a walking talking Jeannie in a bottle equipped with a full bottle of fake happy pills! Everyone loved this person, when they walked into a room people were magnetically pulled into their atmosphere. The outside was attractive in appearance, and the speech was beautiful and uplifting. Everything this person touched was perfect. People who knew of this person always had a kind word. But then there were those of us who really knew!
See this person had stuff, you know life stuff like the rest of us. In order to feel good about what was left of the mess they were living was nothing more than a facade. They did everything humanly possible to look good. They hid in their appearance, and hid behind their words. So hungry for love and acceptance, the lie became more important than what truth could really give them. What they wanted folks to see wasn't ever really good enough, it always had to be bigger and better. Then they hit the wall. The wall of truth!
See you can only live this way for so long. Just like onions, the surface gets torn off, then the peeling process begins. As the truth eventually came out, as it always does, lie after lie was exposed, and the one thing this person feared more than the truth became the result of all of this, pity.
Was there joy for me in any of this, I mean they got what was coming to them, but no. It was awful!
God doesn't want us to feel like we aren't good enough. He doesn't want us to have to fake anything, and He certainly isn't a Jeannie in a bottle.
There is nothing wrong with wanting to give pleasure to folks or make them happy, but when that need consumes you or steals your joy it is nothing more than a device of the enemy.
There is a whole lot of people, myself included who feel not good enough, but there is a time to get over it and know that God chose you to fulfill a purpose and what it is you do or say can and does honor Him and that is what matters.
We are called to serve others and honor Him, each with a gift from Him for His purpose, not ours, His... that's where the Joy of the Lord is our strength fits in, because without Him we are minus Joy! Self don't fit!
In the end your legacy isn't going to be how well you performed, or how good you looked, but the Truth you lived.
See you next time.
Oh, it's going to get deep here!
Like many of you, if we are honest, I have often felt like the last kid picked for a game in gym class, wait! I was! Anyway, I have always felt as if I wasn't good enough, pretty enough, the right size, and most of all eloquent in the delivery of information, or just being able to engage in conversation.
Trying very hard can cause a person to lose their joy very quickly because even though you have done your very best, you have lost what you were doing just by over doing the process. Being a people pleaser ain't easy, and it's not pleasing. Does that make sense. In other words, folks just want you to get it done, they really could care less about the process... Harsh reality, but that is our world today.
We are the people labeling / pleasing generation. Example, you know her, she's the one who has crazy eyes, they roll just because! Seriously, the girl with blonde hair who tells lame jokes, or the fat worship leader! Isn't she lovely, look at her new shoes!
Now stick with me here, all this negativity is going to take a turn soon!
Years ago I knew someone who I shall call sickening fake niceness. On the outside they appeared to have it all together, they were a walking talking Jeannie in a bottle equipped with a full bottle of fake happy pills! Everyone loved this person, when they walked into a room people were magnetically pulled into their atmosphere. The outside was attractive in appearance, and the speech was beautiful and uplifting. Everything this person touched was perfect. People who knew of this person always had a kind word. But then there were those of us who really knew!
See this person had stuff, you know life stuff like the rest of us. In order to feel good about what was left of the mess they were living was nothing more than a facade. They did everything humanly possible to look good. They hid in their appearance, and hid behind their words. So hungry for love and acceptance, the lie became more important than what truth could really give them. What they wanted folks to see wasn't ever really good enough, it always had to be bigger and better. Then they hit the wall. The wall of truth!
See you can only live this way for so long. Just like onions, the surface gets torn off, then the peeling process begins. As the truth eventually came out, as it always does, lie after lie was exposed, and the one thing this person feared more than the truth became the result of all of this, pity.
Was there joy for me in any of this, I mean they got what was coming to them, but no. It was awful!
God doesn't want us to feel like we aren't good enough. He doesn't want us to have to fake anything, and He certainly isn't a Jeannie in a bottle.
There is nothing wrong with wanting to give pleasure to folks or make them happy, but when that need consumes you or steals your joy it is nothing more than a device of the enemy.
There is a whole lot of people, myself included who feel not good enough, but there is a time to get over it and know that God chose you to fulfill a purpose and what it is you do or say can and does honor Him and that is what matters.
We are called to serve others and honor Him, each with a gift from Him for His purpose, not ours, His... that's where the Joy of the Lord is our strength fits in, because without Him we are minus Joy! Self don't fit!
In the end your legacy isn't going to be how well you performed, or how good you looked, but the Truth you lived.
See you next time.
Sunday, June 4, 2017
Sunday Tidbits Revelation
Welcome to Traces Space. So just for the record I do listen to our pastor when he speaks. With that said, my mind occasionally wonders, and for the past couple of weeks I have honestly struggled, not that I wasn't interested, but I think I have been on a journey to this little tidbit of Sunday revelation.
I am not a great believer in information gathered on social media, and believe me, I believe social media has a tendency to play the mind control game, so places that I go to for reliable information are few and far between, but occasionally I will come across something that sparks my interest, and today was one of those days, it all had to do with an article on the Quran.
In this said article it talked about things that as a Christian we may not know about Islam. I'm not going to go there, because my recollection would not be accurate, but I found it interesting. What I want to talk about is the comments. People who I believe never read a word of it spewed their hatred, while others attacked those who were sympathetic to those of us who chose to just be informed.
Am I advocating reading the Quran? Not really, but in order to enter into grown up conversation regarding differences in our belief systems, I would say, learn! I believe Jesus was very much educated on the folks of His day.
So where does church fall into this, and my rabbit trail?
I couldn't let the comments from the article leave my mind, I kept thinking about it. So during the sermon, Abraham was mentioned, now was it in the context that I am about to share, no... but this is where after four weeks of struggling God had me go.
I was sitting there, the wheels spinning, and finally I say, God what am I suppose to get here? Yes, what are you speaking to me...What do I need to see?
So here is what I got.
When something is birthed from the results of disobedience there must be a consequence, and that thing that has been birthed and comes from your Egypt is nothing more than a spoiled child and full of self entitlement. (Ouch)
So then He speaks this, the Prodigal son. See the story is about forgiveness, but God wants me to look at the older brother. See that brother is put out because younger spoiled brother wastes his inheritance, this younger brother shames his family by being a party animal and losing it all and the older brother stays home and engages in a faithful relationship with his father.
He honestly believes because of his faithfulness he is entitled to all that is left. So younger brother mans up and heads home. The father sees him coming and runs to him arms wide open... he then throws a giant party, and older brother pouts. There is so much more in this story, but the focus here for me was this the older sibling.
We spend an awful lot of time thinking about what we have, what we don't, and sometimes resentful of what others have, not just the things we can see, but also the unseen, and I believe what God was speaking here was how we see or place value on our relationship with Him, and how we feel because we touch the porch steps to the church most Sundays, we are entitled to the relationship, just because.
We are jealous of others their giftings , but what's really sad, we are jealous of other peoples journey, whether they are just getting started or a seasoned saint.
That older son is us sometimes.
There is such beauty in this story that we miss, and I believe that there is a great parallel between the Prodigals older brother and Ishmael. They both resented the second born, and we folks are they!
We are owed nothing, but the ultimate price has been paid. God wants us to see ourselves as the lost child who has relinquished entitlement and replaced it with second birth because of the cross. An act of total obedience has granted each and everyone of us an eternal inheritance.
We come before God filthy and hungry with nothing, yet He runs to us, arms wide open.
Lord, I thank You for Your word. I thank You for showing and revealing who it is you desire we be. Thank You for being part of my journey and showing me the way, even if it is a rabbit trail! Amen!
See you next time.
I am not a great believer in information gathered on social media, and believe me, I believe social media has a tendency to play the mind control game, so places that I go to for reliable information are few and far between, but occasionally I will come across something that sparks my interest, and today was one of those days, it all had to do with an article on the Quran.
In this said article it talked about things that as a Christian we may not know about Islam. I'm not going to go there, because my recollection would not be accurate, but I found it interesting. What I want to talk about is the comments. People who I believe never read a word of it spewed their hatred, while others attacked those who were sympathetic to those of us who chose to just be informed.
Am I advocating reading the Quran? Not really, but in order to enter into grown up conversation regarding differences in our belief systems, I would say, learn! I believe Jesus was very much educated on the folks of His day.
So where does church fall into this, and my rabbit trail?
I couldn't let the comments from the article leave my mind, I kept thinking about it. So during the sermon, Abraham was mentioned, now was it in the context that I am about to share, no... but this is where after four weeks of struggling God had me go.
I was sitting there, the wheels spinning, and finally I say, God what am I suppose to get here? Yes, what are you speaking to me...What do I need to see?
So here is what I got.
When something is birthed from the results of disobedience there must be a consequence, and that thing that has been birthed and comes from your Egypt is nothing more than a spoiled child and full of self entitlement. (Ouch)
So then He speaks this, the Prodigal son. See the story is about forgiveness, but God wants me to look at the older brother. See that brother is put out because younger spoiled brother wastes his inheritance, this younger brother shames his family by being a party animal and losing it all and the older brother stays home and engages in a faithful relationship with his father.
He honestly believes because of his faithfulness he is entitled to all that is left. So younger brother mans up and heads home. The father sees him coming and runs to him arms wide open... he then throws a giant party, and older brother pouts. There is so much more in this story, but the focus here for me was this the older sibling.
We spend an awful lot of time thinking about what we have, what we don't, and sometimes resentful of what others have, not just the things we can see, but also the unseen, and I believe what God was speaking here was how we see or place value on our relationship with Him, and how we feel because we touch the porch steps to the church most Sundays, we are entitled to the relationship, just because.
We are jealous of others their giftings , but what's really sad, we are jealous of other peoples journey, whether they are just getting started or a seasoned saint.
That older son is us sometimes.
There is such beauty in this story that we miss, and I believe that there is a great parallel between the Prodigals older brother and Ishmael. They both resented the second born, and we folks are they!
We are owed nothing, but the ultimate price has been paid. God wants us to see ourselves as the lost child who has relinquished entitlement and replaced it with second birth because of the cross. An act of total obedience has granted each and everyone of us an eternal inheritance.
We come before God filthy and hungry with nothing, yet He runs to us, arms wide open.
Lord, I thank You for Your word. I thank You for showing and revealing who it is you desire we be. Thank You for being part of my journey and showing me the way, even if it is a rabbit trail! Amen!
See you next time.
THE GREAT DEFENDER
Welcome to Traces Space. To what extreme are you willing to go to defend that which you believe in, or at the very least the ones or One that you love?
In life I have found that I have somehow managed to surround myself with folks who were kind of always willing to step up and defend that which needed to be fought for without much of my input, until lately.
Funny how life is.
I don't mean that in a sarcastic kind of way, but funny how we somehow end up in situations that test our ability to be clear and honest, yet firm and strong.
Believe it or not, conflict makes me extremely uncomfortable. The thought of being involved in a confrontation of any sort makes me physically ill, even if I am on the right side of the conflict, even if I know that trust is my issue, and believing victory is on the way.
I am a firm believer in the God don't like ugly mentality. He wants victory for us, but we have responsibility in the battle. When we are about to face our opponent, whether it be a mouse or a giant, we have to be prepared for poison darts, and we have to be prepared with the ability to maintain the ability to show Gods characteristics. How easy is it for us to lose our stuff and respond without thought?
In the past two years when seeking God on what the word for my life for the year should be, my spirit has been quickened to the word, response. I really struggle with this because it is very easy to read me, the eyes usually give it away. While this character flaw of mine has been the butt of many jokes, it has also been the thorn in almost every confrontation I have ever had. If I do not simply roll the eyes, then the ugly sarcastic side comes out, no filter! Not a good thing. The Bible warns us about the danger associated with the tongue and the inability to control it.
So when you are defending yourself or others, controlling the passionate need to defend can lose the battle for you before you ever start the actual fight. Slinging words, not choosing them wisely will eventually cause the inevitable crow eating to become a true reality. Not that your fight isn't valid, or worthy, it becomes tainted with attitude and selfishness.
In no way am I saying to give up and not fight, quite the contrary.
First of all take all your battles to God, He has given us what we need in His word, all the fighting words we will ever need and then some. Learn to walk away, think, pray, then respond. Realize that not all battles are yours to fight, even if you feel you are all alone.
Yes God don't like ugly! Most of the time the ugly is more so in us than our foe. The good news is this, God still loves us though, even we are ugly!
So, what extreme are you willing to go? How far or how hard are you willing to fight?
As for me, I'm sure to the end of the battle, and hopefully my responses will no longer be so abrupt. Because as I grow in this I am learning to TRUST and to know that the battle is not mine, but it is the Lords!
See you next time!
In life I have found that I have somehow managed to surround myself with folks who were kind of always willing to step up and defend that which needed to be fought for without much of my input, until lately.
Funny how life is.
I don't mean that in a sarcastic kind of way, but funny how we somehow end up in situations that test our ability to be clear and honest, yet firm and strong.
Believe it or not, conflict makes me extremely uncomfortable. The thought of being involved in a confrontation of any sort makes me physically ill, even if I am on the right side of the conflict, even if I know that trust is my issue, and believing victory is on the way.
I am a firm believer in the God don't like ugly mentality. He wants victory for us, but we have responsibility in the battle. When we are about to face our opponent, whether it be a mouse or a giant, we have to be prepared for poison darts, and we have to be prepared with the ability to maintain the ability to show Gods characteristics. How easy is it for us to lose our stuff and respond without thought?
In the past two years when seeking God on what the word for my life for the year should be, my spirit has been quickened to the word, response. I really struggle with this because it is very easy to read me, the eyes usually give it away. While this character flaw of mine has been the butt of many jokes, it has also been the thorn in almost every confrontation I have ever had. If I do not simply roll the eyes, then the ugly sarcastic side comes out, no filter! Not a good thing. The Bible warns us about the danger associated with the tongue and the inability to control it.
So when you are defending yourself or others, controlling the passionate need to defend can lose the battle for you before you ever start the actual fight. Slinging words, not choosing them wisely will eventually cause the inevitable crow eating to become a true reality. Not that your fight isn't valid, or worthy, it becomes tainted with attitude and selfishness.
In no way am I saying to give up and not fight, quite the contrary.
First of all take all your battles to God, He has given us what we need in His word, all the fighting words we will ever need and then some. Learn to walk away, think, pray, then respond. Realize that not all battles are yours to fight, even if you feel you are all alone.
Yes God don't like ugly! Most of the time the ugly is more so in us than our foe. The good news is this, God still loves us though, even we are ugly!
So, what extreme are you willing to go? How far or how hard are you willing to fight?
As for me, I'm sure to the end of the battle, and hopefully my responses will no longer be so abrupt. Because as I grow in this I am learning to TRUST and to know that the battle is not mine, but it is the Lords!
See you next time!
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